


Faulty Logic

by Maverick



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 11:19:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1646774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maverick/pseuds/Maverick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheppard's drawing conclusions more abstract than Picasso.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faulty Logic

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't remember who Kagan is, he's the cute marine who McKay ~~flirts with~~ kids about impotence during Phantoms and he's the one who apologizes to Rodney for having to carry him on the stretcher after he gets wounded.
> 
>  
> 
> Many thanks to **politt** for beta, hand-holding and her knowledge of sexual euphemisms. I couldn't do it without you, darling.

Sheppard entered the gym in time to see Lt. Kagan straddling -- which was more like sitting on top of -- Rodney's torso before rolling off and pulling McKay to his feet. Both were flushed and laughing.  
  
Rodney bent forward so his hands were on his knees. His breathing was heavy and loud. "I maybe could have pulled off that move a decade ago, but I am not that limber these days."  
  
"I don't know Doc. You seem pretty limber to me," Kagan said, with what John would call a leer. "We still on for this evening?"  
  
Laughing, Rodney cupped his hand over the end of Kagan's shoulder and squeezed. "Of course we are. I always hold up my end of a bargain. 2100, my quarters."  
  
Kagan picked up his gear, wiping a towel across the back of his neck. "Can't wait, I'll see you then."  
  
Rodney nodded and picked up his canteen.  
  
John waited until Kagan was gone before entering the gym from the other side. "What the hell are you doing McKay?"  
  
Rodney looked at him, startled. He held out his canteen. "It would appear that I'm drinking water. And how are you today, Colonel?"  
  
John waved his hand back and forth. "Not that. Earlier with Kagan."  
  
"Kagan?"  
  
"Yes, Lt. Kagan, the guy who was..."  
  
"Was what?" Rodney asked, his jaw jutted out like he was looking for a fight.  
  
"Who was just here."  
  
"We were sparring as part of our physical therapy. You know from when *you shot me.*"  
  
John raised an eyebrow. "Sparring?"  
  
"Yes, sparring. What the hell crawled up your ass this morning?"  
  
"Since when do you train without being ordered to?" John had no idea why he was acting this way. What McKay did on his own time was really none of his business.  
  
"Physical therapy," Rodney said in the singsong voice he used when someone was being especially dumb. "But again, what is your problem?"  
  
"No problem. I just wonder if you should be doing that out in the open?" Okay, what the hell was wrong with him?  
  
"Ju Jitsu? Is there some U.S. Military ban against that particular form of martial arts that I'm unaware of?"  
  
"Ju Jitsu?"  
  
Rodney sat down and started pulling on his socks and shoes. "One of the first martial arts. Said to improve flexibility and range of motion. Kagan's a black belt. Do you even read your men's files?"  
  
"Ju Jitsu?"  
  
"Has Ronon beat you about the head again? Yes, Ju Jitsu. What did you think we were doing?"  
  
John knew the moment Rodney figured out just what exactly he thought they were doing.  
  
Instead of blushing or getting angry, Rodney just shrugged. "Well, you do know I have a thing for blonds. And Kagan is extremely flexible."  
  
John balled his hands into tight fists until his fingernails dug into his palms. "You can't be telling me that."  
  
Rodney gave him a harsh smile that held none of its usual warmth. "I'm not telling you anything you don't seem to be concluding all by yourself." Rodney stood up and began walking toward the exit.  
  
"Rodney."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm...I didn't. I'll see you later."  
  
Rodney nodded. "Have a good day Colonel."  
  
John shook his head trying not to imagine what exactly Rodney and Kagan would be doing in Rodney's quarters later tonight. After a few deep breaths, he set off to find Ronon because at this point a few knocks to his head really couldn't hurt.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
John told himself it was not spying if he happened to be exiting the transporter across from Rodney's quarters at exactly 2100 hours. Of course, by the look that Rodney shot him before he closed the door -- and hey, who knew the slide door could slam like that -- told him he didn't agree with that assessment. He at least stopped himself from listening outside the door before heading down to Teyla's room.  
  
"Have you and Rodney had a fight?" Teyla asked as John slumped down on her chaise.  
  
It couldn't be that obvious, could it? "No, what makes you say that?"  
  
"Things seemed unusually tense at dinner tonight."  
  
He shrugged his shoulders. "You know McKay."  
  
Teyla cocked her head like she was reading his mind. He hated when she did that. "I do. That is why I am asking."  
  
Leaning back, John stretched out his legs in front of him. "We may have had a misunderstanding. It'll work itself out."  
  
Teyla nodded. "I am glad to hear that. Rodney takes some getting used to, but he is a good friend."  
  
John couldn't really argue with that. "He seems to be spending a lot of time with Lt. Kagan. You know anything about that?" Okay, he really had lost his fucking mind.  
  
And of course Teyla was giving him that look again. Followed by that serene smile that says it all has become clear. "I thought you would have known."  
  
John cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"Lt. Kagan wants to propose marriage to his girlfriend when he returns to Earth next week."  
  
John knew his mouth must be gaping. "And he went to McKay for help with that?"  
  
Sighing, Teyla did her best impression of a McKay eye roll. "It seems that his girlfriend's father is an avid chess player."  
  
"So McKay's teaching him chess?" Okay, it was official, he was an idiot. He wondered if maybe he caught a case of stupid on their last mission. Of course, Rodney was just teaching him chess.  
  
Although... that didn't explain the rolling around on the mat in the gym. It'd been a while since he played, but he was pretty sure chess wasn't a contact sport. "What about all the gym time?"  
  
"Lt. Kagan suggested a bartering agreement where Rodney teaches him chess and they help each other with their physical therapy. Dr. Beckett thought it was a good idea as we all know how Rodney gets easily distracted."  
  
"Ju Jitsu."  
  
Teyla nodded. "Yes, I believe that is the type of physical arts that Lt. Kagan has a colored belt in."  
  
"Black belt."  
  
Looking him in the eyes, Teyla reached over and patted his knee. "Right. Black belt. Perhaps you could offer to continue Rodney's physical therapy when Lt. Kagan leaves."  
  
John looked down. "I'm not sure how McKay would feel about that."  
  
"You won't know unless you ask."  
  
Sometimes John really hated Teyla and her advice.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
John had meant to just go back to his room and spend some quality time with the Man in Black, but he found himself standing in front of Rodney's quarters instead. The door swooshed open before he even had time to think about how he'd gotten there.  
  
"I hope you haven't been lurking out here the entire time Colonel."  
  
John shook his head. "Can I come in?"  
  
Crossing his arms against his chest, Rodney moved to the side to let John in. "You're not gonna find Lt. Kagan hiding in my closet if that's what you hoped. He left quite a while ago."  
  
John saw the chess board and pieces laid out on the end of Rodney's bed and suddenly didn't know what to say. He felt ashamed and asinine and a few other words that didn't begin with the letter A. "So Kagan's getting married?"  
  
Rodney looked at him like he was nuts. And John guessed he deserved that and probably a lot more. "Someone's spent the evening doing some interrogation I see. I certainly hope water torture or bamboo sticks weren't necessary."  
  
"It's not... I was... It just..." John put his hands out in front of him, splaying his fingers like he wanted to touch before shoving them into his pockets. He pleaded with Rodney with his eyes.  
  
"How articulate of you Colonel. With a little work, I see a career as a mime in your future. Let me know if you need help getting out of that box."  
  
"Christ, do you have to be such an asshole about it."  
  
Rodney snorted. "I'm being the asshole? How do you figure that?"  
  
"Jesus. I'm sorry Rodney, okay. I'm sorry."  
  
"For what exactly Colonel? Because I'm not really sure even you know."  
  
Of course he knew. At least he thought it did. Of course Rodney had a way of twisting everything until he wasn't sure which way was up. That was McKay all right, the anti-gravity. He decided to start where it all began. John looked down, unable to meet Rodney's eyes. "I shot you."  
  
"And Ronon."  
  
John sighed. "Yes, and Ronon."  
  
Rodney put both his hands on John's shoulders. "I know I call you stupid at least twice a day, but I don't really mean it. I don't blame you for shooting me."  
  
"Or Ronon."  
  
"Or Ronon. So why are you blaming yourself?"  
  
"It's my job to protect you and I shot both of you."  
  
"So tell me, did you visit that planet and jack up the Wraith device before we got there?"  
  
"No. Of course not."  
  
"So how are you responsible? You were hallucinating. We all were."  
  
"But."  
  
"No buts." Rodney flicked his finger against John's forehead. "Not. Your. Fault. Although, that really doesn't explain today's little..." Rodney made circles with his finger instead of finishing his words.  
  
John shrugged his shoulders and made himself meet Rodney's gaze. "Can I plead temporary insanity?"  
  
"You can, but I'm not sure how you made the leap from blaming yourself for shooting me to Kagan and me knocking boots."  
  
John's eyes got wide. "Knocking boots?"  
  
"What, is that not normal U.S. Military parlance?"  
  
"Um, no. And he was sitting on top of you."  
  
"He just pinned me to the mat."  
  
"Not helping."  
  
Rodney gave John a crooked smile. "Talk to me."  
  
"You were laughing. Having fun. And it'd been a while since I'd seen you like that."  
  
"So you concluded we were..."  
  
"Please don't say knocking boots again."  
  
"Fine. I won't. But that's some faulty logic there."  
  
"How do you figure?"  
  
"I laugh like that with you. And Teyla and Ronon. And I'm pretty sure, none of us are sleeping together. Well, except maybe Teyla and Ronon and I really don't want to go there."  
  
Okay, that was an image he didn't need. At least he and Rodney were in agreement on that one. Accidentally knocking a couple of chess pieces on the floor, he sat down on the edge of Rodney's bed. He scrubbed his face with his hands. "I agree, let's not go there. And you're right. Faulty logic. That explains it all." Bad logic that's it. It had nothing to do with jealousy and envy. Nothing at all.  
  
Rodney picked up the pieces, moving the board before sitting down next to him. "Not everyone can be right all the time. Well, except me."  
  
John couldn't help but laugh at that. "So Kagan's getting married?"  
  
"Hopefully. He's a good kid."  
  
John could agree with that. "So have you taught him the ways of the force, Obi Wan?"  
  
"We'll see. I've taught him not to leave his queen wide open at least. I think he'll hold his own."  
  
John looked down and then met Rodney's eyes. "So will you need help with your PT after he heads back to Earth next week?"  
  
"Are you offering to help?"  
  
John nodded. "Yeah. I am."  
  
Smiling, Rodney reached out and put his hand on John's knee. "What are you gonna want in trade?"  
  
John covered Rodney's hand with his own. "What are you offering?"  
  
Rodney squeezed John's hand and leaned toward him. "I've got a few things in mind."  
  
"Me too." John pressed his lips to Rodney's and the world began to spin in an entirely more pleasurable way.  
  
Much later when Rodney was all but sprawled on top of him, John cocked an eyebrow and had to ask once more time. "Knocking boots?"  
  
When Rodney--laughing--thwaped him with a pillow, it was music to John's ears.  
  



End file.
